It’s funny what brings people to a blog. Obviously most of my audience are people with bipolar disorder or who love someone with bipolar. That’s who I’m really writing for.
Remix of Robot Sam the Answer Man by complexify, CC BY-NC-SA 2.0.
But search queries bring in people with a wide variety of interests. If I were 100% focused on stuff related to bipolar, all the queries about gummy bears would be a surprise. The fact that gummy bears seem to be one of the hottest topics bringing search referrals is actually what surprised me.
I’m in the mood for a mental break from all the hoity-toity intellectualism that I usually spout. So today, I’m going to answer some of the questions that bring people to Dr. Chickadee for answers.
- colorful gummy bears; pink gummy bears; real blue gummy bears; pink, blue, purple, orange gummy bears; pink/blue/red gummy bear; blue gummy bears; red gummy bear normal; haribo bears yellow and pink: People care about the color of their gummy bears. A lot more than I would have guessed.
- gummy bear flavor colors; lemon gummy bears; blue raspberry gummy bear; what flavor is the light red gummy bear?: Gummy bear flavor is clearly very important too. But not as important as matching your little princess’s birthday party color scheme.
- who produces gummy bears with the letter a on their stomachs: It’s a secret cabal. Seriously, no clue. Don’t care.
- awesome gummy bear; gummy bears love; i have a gummy bear: Some people clearly have special relationships with gummy bears…
Things related to gummy bears
- blue gummy worms; light blue foods; blue gummies; blue watermelon: Apparently blue food is attractive?
- 12 different color grapefruits: That’s unnatural.
- child gummy: That’s disgusting!
Hair (really?)
- graduated bob hairstyle: Yep, it’s cute.
- long to short haircut; haircut in movie very long to short; your hair from very long to short: I can’t imagine what this is about.
- my haircut: Your haircut isn’t on my blog.
- after haircut: Hair is shorter!
- mood graphs; mood graphing chart; mood chart time series; analyzing mood; mood analysis tools: More here.
- mood scoring chart; scoring mood chart: This isn’t something you can win.
- mood chart icon: Apparently that’s me.
- alcohol and mood chart: Good things to track together.
- how to do a mood chart for my counselor: Ask your counselor for instructions.
- mood chart interpretation; how to interpret mood chart: Sit back and think about it. You’re the best person for the job. More here.
- bipolar disorder charts and graphs: I wish I could find examples too.
- interpreting moodscope graphs: It takes practice. Like any other mood chart, you’re going to have to spend some time pondering. And thinking.
- moodscope what does attentive mean: That’s really up to your interpretation. A bit challenging, isn’t it?
- moodscope graph typical for bipolar: Again, I wish I could find examples too. But comparing your chart to someone else’s is not diagnostic! You have to see a psychiatrist for that.
- dsm 296.89; bipolar code 296.89: That means Bipolar II.
- bipolar disorder icd; bipolar affective disorder icd-10 diagnosis: There are a whole lot of specific codes.
- what is v58.69; lab test code v58.69; blood test v58.69; comprehensive metabolic panel dx v58.69: This is a code that means the reason for your test is that you’ve been on meds for a long time. It applies to any kind of meds, not just crazy meds. More here.
- urine test u58.69: A v58.69 is a blood test. I guess it makes sense that u58.69 would be a urine test. (that was a joke, by the way)
- what medicine am i taking for v58.69: This isn’t about what medicine you’re taking. This is about what the medicine you’ve been taking is doing to your body.
- blue & yellow strattera: That’s the 25mg pills, I think? I don’t remember. I hate that stuff.
- strattera side effects crying: Yeah, me too. It really, really sucked.
- unreality strattera: I’m sorry to hear it; that can’t be fun at all.
- strattera for dysexcutive syndrome: Strattera treats ADHD, which can cause dysexecutive syndrome, so it might help.
- long term side effects of strattera 2012: There have been no studies of the long-term effects past 8 or 9 weeks. Despite treating a long-term condition, the medication is specifically marked as not being for long-term use.
Other Medications and Drugs
- ran out of adderall: So did I. That also sucked.
- dysexecutive syndrome adderall: If you have dysexecutive syndrome and ADHD is the cause, then Adderall might help.
- lamictal makes me stoned: I wish!
- wellbuterin have epinephrin in it?: No, it has norepinephrine in it. It decomposes into epinephrine in your body.
- orange juice interaction with methylphenidate: Nope, no worries there. Drink up!
- self medicating with pot: A lot of people do this.
- lexapro, adderal, smoking marijuana and cigarettes medically bad for me? and alcohol use bad for me: If you hadn’t figured out that cigarettes and alcohol are medically bad for you, keep smoking and drinking. Darwinism works.
- brain supplements for bipolar; vitamins to control bipolar: More here.
- is there anything i can do about burping my fish oil supplements?: You can put them in the freezer and that’s supposed to help. If you take them with food, you probably won’t get fish burps as much.
- my psychiatrist is a bible thumper: If you’re not a bible thumper too, you might want to switch shrinks…
- psychiatrists “don’t like” “stand up”: Yeah. I hear that. No matter what they say, they don’t seem to like patients that hold their ground and bother to be well-informed. I really don’t get it, but I’m a bit disillusioned.
- what’s going on with psych: Personally, I don’t even want to know. They clearly have their own issues too. I just wish they could be a bit more professional.
Miscellanea
- “pee standing”; how to pee standing: If you’re a man, I’m not going to help you out. If you’re a woman, check this out.
- peeing standing up free foto: You’re gross.
- imposter syndrome; imposter syndrome academia: More here.
- delusion that someone is an impostor: Depends on who “someone” is. If “someone” thinks that they are themselves an imposter, that’s imposter syndrome. If they think someone else is an imposter, that’s Capgras syndrome.
- light makes me hypomanic: This is a known effect, but it’s typically not just any light – it’s specifically sunlight or light boxes that emulate sunlight.
- bipolar symptoms +babies: Your baby does not have bipolar symptoms. All babies are evil little tyrants that giggle and coo one moment and then scream up a shitstorm the next.
- why don’t bipolar people take care of their babies: If I could reach out through the Internet and punch you, I would. Most bipolar people are good parents, especially if they have a strong social support system to help them out when things get rough. Any mental illness can make dealing with little brats more difficult.
- bipolar avoid travel in different zones: Don’t let the disorder control your life, but yeah, this can cause some problems. More here.
- do they need a itinerary bipolar: Doesn’t everyone?
- how to deal with being vulnerable: Check out this awesome TED talk about vulnerability and how it makes us better people.
- sobriety sucks: Especially if you have unmanaged mental illness. Realistically, it’s something you should learn to deal with.
- difficulty with accepting praise: You have to work on it; start by learning to say “thank you” as sincerely as you can.
- typical french breakfast: Coffee and bread.
- chickadee sings happy birthday: I’d pay to see that!
- blog powered by blog: Aren’t they all?
- stuiped stuiped: I really can’t help you with that. Really.
- one thing constant is change: Amen.
That was hilarious! Even as bad as I feel, I couldn’t help but laugh.
Yay! I made a funny! It just doesn’t come out that witty every day.
Brilliant! And now of course this post is even more optimised for all those search terms so the strange traffic is going to keep on coming. Clearly the answer is to focus solely on gummy bears from now on. Never mind all that thought-provoking stuff, bring on the gummies!
You know, I thought about the SEO effect, and decided that since the gummy bear fans were already finding their way here, there wasn’t much more harm to be done.
SEO. Come on… You totally did it…. If this wasn’t planned, there’s an SEO expert sleeping in you my friend…
Le Clown
It wasn’t really intended for the SEO value. Really.
Of course, I do know a few things about SEO. That’s what you get for working at a boutique web services agency for a few years.
It’s funny to see what random search terms people use that lead them to our blogs! I was particularly interested in Lamictal making you stoned. I’ve been taking it for 3 or 4 years and have yet to experience this. Who knows? Maybe next week? Some side effects are delayed I hear…
Lamictal did trigger some very strong mood episodes for me when I was titrating up, but nothing that made me feel stoned. Just really manic on one occasion.
The search queries are sometimes so entertaining, I just had to do a round-up.
Lol, I laughed so hard at your answer about bipolar symptoms and babies.
Interestingly, most of the search queries for my blog are something like “Is it wrong to be a loner?” and “body feeling like Gumby.” Of all the things I talk about, it’s interesting that searches for those recur, ha.
Part of that is due to the way search engines work. If enough people query “body feeling like Gumby” and then click through to your blog, then it’s going to suggest your blog more often when people query “body feeling like Gumby.” Except now they’re going to be coming here since it was mentioned 3 times on this page.
Wonderful, imaginative post.
I’ve had this stuck in my head. Thought I’d share.
“I’m a gummy bear, stand up on my chair when I start to dance…”
Oooh now that’s another gummy bear mention, two actually.
I’d actually thought about making a post like this back in January, no lie. I usually get searches for “i have a dreamcicle” and the other day I got a few that said “suicidal poem”. lol
Ha! I encourage you to write your own respond-to-the-searchers post sometime when you’re otherwise uninspired. It was kinda fun to write.