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- Identify a judgment about yourself, someone else, or some situation: I am bad at self-control.
- Describe your reasons for letting go of this judgment: I have good self-control under the right circumstances.
- Replacement the judgments with descriptions of facts, consequences, and/or your preferences about this: ADHD and bipolar make me impulsive; it is a symptom and not a character flaw.
- Practice accepting the nonjudgmental descriptions and letting go of the judgments. Identify the words, actions, body postures, or imagery that helps you let go: I can do better.
- Remember not to judge your judging! ???
- Describe any changes you noticed in your acceptance or your emotions as you practice nonjudgmental stance: Relieved that there is a reason for my impulsivity but frustrated and sad that I have not overcome it.
In other news…
I have an appointment with a new psychiatrist tomorrow. Or more precisely, with an LPN at the new psychiatrist’s practice. Finally!
I can already tell that this is going to be a much better doctor. They sent me a packet with no less than 11 forms to fill out prior to my first appointment. They include patient demographics, 2 pages of personal history symptoms, medication information, a depression questionnaire, an anxiety questionnaire, the Epworth Sleepiness Scale, the Fatigue Severity Scale, a patient treatment contract, an authorization for treatment, HIPAA consent, and informed consent. I had very few such forms at Dr. Suspicioustwit’s office, and had to fill them out at the first appointment rather than saving a lot of time by filling out forms in advance.
I also have a full hour for my first appointment, as opposed to the half hour at the old psych’s office. Overall this is really encouraging, but I’m still a bit nervous about the whole thing.
See, my psychiatrists never did ANY of this stuff. The only thing “good psychiatrist” at the university asked for was a two day journal so she could get an idea of what my symptoms where like. That’s why I value Young Therapist’s Dx so much.
I was so upset when I did all that hard work mood charting and when I went in to see this new psych, she barely glanced at it and gave it back. I said, “No, I don’t want it. I brought it for you so you can keep it or trash it if you want.” I was surprised with myself saying that. lol.
Also, I was thinking since you’re getting into DBT a little now, maybe that person that brought up BPD to you did so because rapid cycling bipolar and borderline personality are so similar. Some of the main differences is that people with borderline are almost always triggered into a cycle by external events as oppose to BP which can be either or. And besides, BPD used to be such a mixed up, through it at anyone who’s got violent tendencies and abuse/neglect/abandonment issues diagnosis.
I’m also confused by #5. Don’t judge your judgement? Maybe don’t be overcritical of the fact that you over think and may judge some things about yourself and/or others?
Well, DBT is separate from psychiatric care. It’s also separate from individual therapy, so it’s quite a bit of additional time/effort.
The psych who brought up BPD also hardly looked at my months of mood charts – she just fixated on alcohol consumption. The similarities between BPD and BP are notable, though I’m not remotely violent and have no abuse/neglect/abandonment issues. Everyone whom I’ve since brought it up to quickly ruled it out.
I think #5 is about not judging yourself for judging, so like you said, not being critical of yourself for making judgments. After all, it’s a completely normal thought process. You just don’t want it to get out of control.
Yeah, I know the DBT is something you’re doing on the side, which I think is great! I’m going to ask my new therapist about community support groups for BPD and with DBT, though I’m hesitant to.
Also, i realize I may have made a sweeping statement with saying that abuse/neglect/abandonment issues prevail in people BPD. You don’t have to be violent either. I’m just a violent/reactive BPD apparently, though I’ve changed a lot for the better thankfully. See, like with the other aspects, being violent/agressive not always the case either. I just don’t want to be a misinformer. There’s just a higher incidence rate of these issues in BPD. I personally don’t think I have abandonment issues, and though I have been abused, I wasn’t really “neglected” per say. Also the neglect can come in so many forms. It can be as simple as chronic invalidation, whether by peers, parents, other caregivers, etc. It’s just a matter of how receptive and sensitive the person with BPD is.
I also don’t see why she would say that just because of the drinking. You do sound like you have a good psychiatrist now. Wish I could say the same. At least the one I have now isn’t terrible like some I’ve had.
And kudos for all your efforts.
It’s such a big step.
She was replying to a number of symptomatic things, but they were leading questions without context, so it was pretty bad form on her part. She did a lot of probing about whether I’m just hypersensitive or something. Funny, because I had often been told that I was really insensitive…
new psychiatrist arrangements sound very encouraging; very good to know that someone is taking the trouble to find out who and how you are now
The new psychiatrist sounds great! I wish mine had taken the time to have me fill out so many forms.
I can actually relate to #5 a lot. Don’t judge yourself for judging. Sometimes when I make a judgment, I get mad at myself for doing so because I don’t have the right. I shouldn’t have been judging it in the first place. Or my judgment was erroneous. For instance, maybe I think I must be an idiot because I did a task wrong. Then I get mad at myself for thinking that doing the task wrong is an indication that I’m stupid in general because it was just one task.
I don’t know if that makes sense to anyone else, lol. I have a tendency to overthink things, as you can see.
That makes sense – I can see that logic. I usually don’t get judgmental with myself for judging, so it’s hard to relate. I just generally try to avoid judging, but sometimes we do it without realizing that we’re doing it.
Yep. It makes complete sense to me. lol. I often (though try to by all the DBT I’ve had) get very angry at myself for getting angry at myself for doing something wrong.