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Before the stardom that comes with being Freshly Pressed, most people found my blog through the usual bloggy means, or with search enginges. Usually looking for Strattera, gummy bears, mood charts/graphs, and pixie haircuts. There’s also a lot of interest in peeing standing up. Go figure – every time I wander off topic…

Nonetheless, the element of randomness still lurks in the strange world of search query referrals, and today Dr. Chickadee is answering the most entertaining questions of the masses once again.

Everyone’s Favorites: Gummy Bears & Peeing While Standing Up

  • taking out the blue gummy bears: Are you some evil kind of gummy sniper, or just a racist jerk? The blue gummy bears are delicious!
  • what is it called when you discriminate against gummies: Being a racist jerk.
  • gummi bears urine color: Dude, that’s nasty. Yellow is a time-honored gummy bear color, universally signifying lemony goodness.
  • red blue and clear gummy bears having fun: Patriotic gummy bears just wanna have fun! Especially if it means gummy orgies. O_o
  • how carry female urination device in pants: It’s called a pocket.
  • female urinary device for jeans: If it works for chinos, it will work for jeans.
  • do women ever just pull panties to the side to pee: Yes.
  • too scared to stand up to pee: I’m certain I don’t want to know what you’re scared of, but there’s really nothing wrong with sitting or squatting.

Medications, Side Effects, Supplements, Vitamins

Brisk 10 minute walk in drizzling windy 50' weather with rain shell's pit zips open. Had to change shirt and bra; both were soaked.

Brief brisk walk in drizzly breezy 50° F weather with rain shell’s pit zips open. Still had to change shirt and bra; both were soaked from the inside. Thanks, bupropion…

  • bupropion and overly sweeting while exercising: Sweeting? Don’t know about that, but I get inordinately sweaty with the least bit of exertion.
  • does bupropion complement sertraline: What does your doctor say? But yeah, sometimes it can work that way; they work on different neurotransmitters.
  • worried about dry scalp lamictal: Mine got worse with lamictal, but was already a nuisance. If you’re worried, talk to your doctor.
  • does lamictal drain my body of nutrients: Yes, folic acid and D vitamins in particular.
  • lamictal hurts academic preformance: I’m not sure I’d blame the lamictal, kid.
  • lamictal cocktails: Delightful with a touch of bupropion, amphetamine salts, lorazepam, and wildberry seltzer water. (NB, that’s a joke.)
  • adderall and flagellation: That’s not a normal side effect. You might want to tell your doctor about that. Or get a therapist. Like, now.
  • alpha one carriers who take strattera: Whoa, that’s fancy-talk – and I have a PhD! I want to see your bibliography.
  • double s allele and lamictal: See above.
  • why is zoloft called the dirty drug: Is it really? My tablets look pretty spick-and-span.
  • since starting lithium my finger nails are stronger, is this normal? No! Run to your doctor! Improved health is bad!
  • how little dose of lithium can you take, when it’s still active for bipolar disorder: What did your doctor say? What’s that, you didn’t ask?
  • how to increase norepinephrine naturally: Exercise, probably? Exercise apparently fixes almost everything. Except broken hips.
  • i feel exceptionally better when i take b complex vitamins: Good for you! Are you bragging to Google, or did you have a point?
  • does dramamine help to suppress emotions: Inasmuch as it makes a lot of people really sleepy.

…and, best of all:

  • don’t take vitamin supplements the brain will tell you what it needs: If you hear that voice in your brain telling you to take cyanide with your Vitamin C, do you follow instructions?

Bipolar and Badly Constructed Queries

  • what is a vitamin for bipolar people with mood swings: All bipolar people have mood swings, by definition. And there is no one vitamin.
  • ultradian define with a sentence that means beyond: According to you, the definition is “beyond.” Semantics, people!
  • hypomania voyeur: Guilty conscience much?
  • can bipolar be reversed or improved and 2012: Improved, yes. Reversed, not exactly. Lithium can lead to reversal of neuronal damage, but that doesn’t mean the bipolar is reversed, just some of the brain damage.
  • what can you take naturally for mild bipolar: By definition, there’s no such thing as “mild bipolar.” See a doctor!
  • should a bipolar person just take vitamins: That’s like stuffing acorns into a ticking time bomb and hoping it will turn into a chipmunk. See a doctor!
  • will massive stress make u have mood swings like bipolar: Sometimes, but you’re probably nowhere close on the extremity of the moods. Unfortunately, current theory suggests that massive stress can trigger bipolar in individuals already genetically susceptible. If you’re worried, see a doctor!

Weird Questions About Chickadees

Isn't Mr. Chickadee cute?

Isn’t Mr. Chickadee cute?

  • what calcium and vitamin d should i get for chickadees? Chickadees eat seeds. They don’t need your vitamins.
  • chickadee race 2012: Where do I sign up?
  • how to control the chickadee: You shall never control the chickadee! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
  • how to find information on getting rid of the chickadee: What is your problem with chickadees? I think the bigger problem is that you’re asking Google how to find information.
  • chickadee elder speaking out: Is that so? And what meds are you taking?
  • what to do with paralyzed chickadee: Call your local SPCA/Humane Society or wild animal rescue organization. Don’t let cats eat it.

The Random Bits

  • short pixie cut for fat women with a double chin: I take offense! Who says I have a double chin?!?
  • tiny dental ratchet: The dentists and oral surgeons have them! I bet they buy them from leprechauns. Or dental supply vendors. Who might be leprechauns.
  • dbt for homework avoidance: Seriously? For homework avoidance? That’s what we call “overkill” here in reality-land (says the crazy woman…)
  • dbt is hokey: Yes, yes it is. Mother Marsha’s book is also over a decade old, so what do you expect?
  • f*ck!n alot icd9 code: There is a thing called sexual addiction, but I suspect that’s not what you mean…
  • can’t do anything right when depressed: Join the club. It’s not actually true, though; your brain is tricking you.

The Truly Inexplicable

  • “le epic my my”: I blame Le Clown.
  • mr bean bum: Is that a type of British celebrity p0rn?
  • ukulele hiking gear: I smell an entrepreneurial opportunity…
  • epic cilantro: That would be an awesome band name!
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