Tags
anxiety, brittle, catastrophizing, crying, fragile, loss, overemotional, psychiatrist, sad
This week’s mail included a letter from my psych’s office regretting to inform me that my PNP is leaving the practice in a month. I cried on the spot; it took so long to find someone with whom I felt I had a good working relationship. I’ll call to get set up with someone new for medication management sometime soon, but transitions like this are hard for me. I’m terrified of being written off by medical professionals and therefore not taken seriously, impacting my quality of care and overall stability.
Unfortunately, this shock came during a bout of “brittleness”, as Mr. Chickadee called it. Brittle is a couple levels less intense than “fragile” but feels uncomfortably similar and worrisome. I’ll try to describe it: it’s a state of emotional overload, like a balloon stretched to its absolute limit and ready to burst at any provocation, good or bad.
My heart feels temporarily swollen beyond my chest’s capacity, overflowing with emotion that’s trapped inside me until the pressure of it causes a leak or explosion. Every nerve is set on end, my face flushes and skin becomes oversensitive, like a tiny burst of adrenaline. I have to consciously stop myself from hyperventilating. I feel as though I can’t breathe because I’m already so overfull there’s no room for air. Usually it lasts only a moment, or maybe a few minutes; long enough to make me start crying buckets at the least trigger, but the tsunami quickly recedes.
When it’s prolonged, that overemotional state goes from a passing emotional hiccup into brittle, and then fragile, while I get progressively less functional. Fragile is about two steps away from semi-catatonic. So every time it washes over me, that overemotional sensation brings a secondary fear that it will stick around and screw everything up again.
I even know the cause for this episode and it could be treated immediately. I just can’t get the medical attention I need. Isn’t that absurd? My PNP was really working make it happen but somewhere along the incomprehensible line it keeps getting cockblocked. I can’t self-refer for the services I need, so I’m stuck waiting in the dark until someone makes a move. I hate feeling so helpless.
And now I’m losing my PNP too. She was the one mental health professional I’ve ever felt was really on my side, so I’m taking it a lot harder than I feel like I should. This is everyday stuff – why am I still crying about it? Oh yeah, that brittle thing.
This sucks.
Write What You Feel: cold, stifled, exhausted, bored. Mood scores have been on the low end of tolerable lately. Horrible spell of intense distractability lifted, finally started to pick up the pace on work, but shallow optimism is negated by fear of February’s usual downhill slide. Catastrophizing, crying, head constantly buzzing with worries I can’t seem to swat away. Working so hard on dumping everything out of my brain as fast as I can so I can clear space to think, but I can’t pour it out quickly enough to banish the noise for more than a few minutes at a time.
I am so sorry this is happening. I know I would freak out if I had to change psychiatrist. I have been with mine for abut 11 yrs. I hope that you can find a suitable one in your PNP. You are in my thoughts xx
Hell, I just changed psychiatrists! I’m planning to stay with the same practice, so hopefully whomever is assigned will be decent.
I understand this so much! Having had a doctor that worked hard to find my magic medication who honestly listened to me, supported me I was terrified. He gave me advice and helped me select another doctor before he left. I had my golden doctor for 14 yrs. He told me to be my own advocate, that I always had been but with him it was easy and I no longer had to try so hard. Speak up.! I write down the things I need to talk to him about before I get there. The new Doctor I have isn’t wonderful like my old doctor nor is he my friend as the old one. But I have learned he actually is a good doctor, since I didn’t have a personal relationship I told him a few things I never told my other Doctor. 1. My crazy panic attacks And startle reflex. 2. Pulling my hair out. My dirty secrets. He found a wonderful Dr. to work with me right away. He has tried to change my medications several times or try to increase them. I can’t take a lot of medications I develop toxicity to them. The higher the levels the better chance I have of not taking them again. What works for me is perfect right now. I tried a new one took a total of three days before I became sick. Now he understands. But I am keeping a open mind In case one day I can no longer take this medication. It is scary if you don’t let the new one you have a choice of finding another one to fit you. Yes it is hard but you have proven how strong you are’. You faced much worse and have kept on being a advocate for yourself!
Thanks! My PNP has been great, working on adjusting medications, and has really helped improve things so much. But every time I’ve changed psychs, it literally takes months, so I’m hoping it will go OK to stay with the same practice.
I’m so sorry. It’s just bonecrushing when this happens. Could you follow her to where she’s going, or is that not an option? I’m not completely up on the lingo, so if you already stated that can’t happen, I’m sorry.
I don’t know if that’s an option and I don’t know the terms upon which she’s leaving, so it’s hard to say. I would consider following her, depending on where she went. Otherwise, I’ll have to trust that the practice hires good people and whomever else they place me with will be OK.
The description of the progression from brittle to fragile to non-functional is better than I’ve ever been able to describe it.
Thanks! It has taken awhile to find ways to express it so that I feel like others might get it.
I am sorry for this upheaval. Sending good ju ju your way
If it weren’t for the upheavals, things might get boring, right?
Thanks for the good ju ju – feel like I could use all I can get.
yes but sometimes, well most times, I crave boring
I “liked” your post, not because I like what’s happening to you, but because I can’t give you a hug, which is what I really want to do. ((HUG))
Aw, thanks! There’s just no making it easy.
I’ll probably start crying at my therapy appt when I talk about it. It’s not just a transition, nor the annoyance of adjusting to someone else, but rather feeling like I’m being abandoned by the only (prescribing) mental health professional who ever really took me seriously. And I know that’s not how it really is, but that’s how it feels.
Wow! Even before I read your post I felt the truth of that word in the title. Thank-you for such a great description of how I have been feeling this week. I hope things get better for you and that you find someone soon. I had a great therapist years ago and have never been able to find someone as good. What I have found are amazing friends who love and support me. But that took time and I still hold my breath at times waiting for the pain of rejection. Thinking of you and wishing for all things good and yes a virtual ((hug)) too
So sorry you’ve been feeling that way too. Not my idea of a good time.
Right now I’m particularly grateful to have a good therapist. This kind of thing would be so much harder to deal with otherwise!
Thanks so much! Feeling so much better this week. My naturopath has tweeked my regimen and I forced myself out in the cold for a hike every day after work three days in a row. Had a magical moment in the forest at dusk friday, when I passed a group of deer that didn’t bolt, but just watched me curiously with one actually coming within 20 ft to get a better sniff. It really helps reading your posts too, not feeling alone in these terrible bouts of depression. The worst was Thursday..my boss sent me home. I felt like such an idiot…I couldn’t stop crying and it scared me because I haven’t had that happen to me in a long time. Thats the worst thing about this illness..I start to feel almost “normal”, that I have it under control, then wham it hits me like a tidal wave. Glad to see your new post and that your friend encouraged you to be proactive and make that emergency appointment. A couple of close friends really helped get me through last week too
We really are not alone!
Anna, I’m so glad this helps you feel less alone. That’s one of the more devastating things about depression – it makes you feel alone, whether or not you actually are.
And I totally get you on the cycle of almost getting back to baseline and then getting knocked down all over again. Fortunately for me, I work remotely 3 days a week, and better yet, this week both of my usual days in the office were cancelled without it being on my account. I don’t think I could have driven anyway – too much vertigo.
I am so sorry for your loss. Take care and keep writing.
Thanks, River Man!
I’m so sorry, DeeDee. This is such an emotionally and mentally draining experience I’m sure. I have only been diagnosed for a little over 3 years now, so I still have my same psychiatrist and therapist, but I have such a fear of losing them someday. It took so long and so many years to finally get doctors to do exactly what you said you needed too… to have someone listen and take me seriously. I hate to think about the day when I get the retirement letter, or something to the same effect of losing one or both of them. I hope that this transition will go fast for you and hopefully find another great person who will be there for you, like you deserve. Take care, DeeDee and big hugs your way!
Summer
I’ve only been diagnosed for a little over a year, but over the last two years I’ve had 3 changes of psychiatrists, one short-term counselor, and one therapist.
Changing docs and therapists is extremely disruptive, takes a lot of time, riles up a lot of fear and worry, etc. I’m sure I’ll have my therapist telling me not to worry so much about it and strategizing how to deal with a new person.
If this is anywhere near as stressful as the last two doc changes, well, fuck. I just hope that being at the same practice will make it easier. Technically, it’s the same doc, but I’ve never actually met the psychiatrists – either at the past practice or the current one!
I love your description of feeling ‘brittle’, that’s something that I can really relate to and is more or less how I’m feeling lately.
Sorry that your PNP is leaving, transitions like that are always difficult. Hopefully the new person will work out for you!
I hope thew new person will be as good, though I refuse to get my hopes up too high. And I hope you’re feeling not-so-brittle soon too.
((Hugs))
Keep talking and explaining how you feel – you’re doing a good job x
Thanks, A. It does help to let it out!
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