, ,

I’m not stupid. I know that. But sometimes I do stupid things, and boy, do I feel stupid right now.

The day started off well enough; I went in for my appointment at the psych’s office mid-morning. It was all fine. I got a 90-day Rx for both Wellbutrin and Lamictal, since both seem to be doing well for me. We also added on 10mg instant release Adderall, since the XR is wearing off mid-afternoon and upping the dose on that doesn’t seem like a good idea. Mission accomplished! Got everything I needed, and don’t need to go back for a month.

So I head out to the pharmacy, where they tell me once again that I need a prior auth for the Adderall. Because I already have Adderall XR, but somehow Adderall straight-up needs re-approval. OK, fine, I was prepared for that. Went home, taking care of all the details, and stuck my Rx’s on the fridge to fill later. There are two. Wait, only two? I have 4 Rx’s and just dropped one off! Where’s the other one? I must have lost the other Adderall Rx.

I frantically searched my house, the recycling bin, the car. Nope. I called the psych’s office – did I drop it there somewhere? Nope. They can rewrite it, just check again. So I get back in the car, return to the pharmacy, check the parking lot, ask the staff, and nope. Not there. By now I was feeling pretty panicked and stupid.

So I get home, and try to call the psych’s office again. Closed for lunch. I dealt with getting other appointments set up and checking if the university health center can do the lab tests the psych ordered. After 1 PM, I call for a service appointment for my car, and call the psych’s office back. They’ll rewrite the Rx, no problem, I’ll just swing by later for it. After doing a few sundry tasks, 4:15 rolls around, so I head back out to the psych’s office to pick up my Rx. I look at it as I walk out the door – it’s written for the 10mg instant release that I already dropped off to be filled. WTF?!?

I turn around, go back in, and say, “this is the wrong one, it should be XR.” The very nice blonde says she’ll check with the prescriber and get it rewritten, just take a seat. So I take my seat. After about two minutes, it dawns on me that I have 30 days of Adderall XR left, and my next appointment is in 28 days. OMG. So I get up, tell the blonde that I’m not sure I actually need the XR, and can she check? She does, and yes, it’s not going to be written until next time.

What really happened here? By the time I got home, I had forgotten that I was not going to get the Adderall XR written until the next appointment. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I blew most of the day running around after something that didn’t need to be done at all. Guilt, embarrassment, self-flagellation…

So now I have an extra Rx slip for Adderall that I don’t really need. And a lot of negative feelings about myself, which I also don’t need right now. I’m supposed to be such a smartypants, but I can’t even remember for half an hour what my Rx’s are and when they’re to be filled! Well, I’ve done stupider things in the past, but getting to a point where I feel like my brain is working well, and then having a slip like this is so frustrating. Even more irritating, I have to go out yet again this evening (for a 4th time) to do some catsitting duties, but I’m going to try to put off groceries until tomorrow because I’m not handling today particularly well at all.